ohwhatprovidence:

ohwhatprovidence:

one time, my sister accidentally sent a picture of her new dog to the wrong number and the recipient was real upset about it

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earlier this week, my sister realized that it had been an entire year. she had a new dog and thought he might want to see

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then her friend sent him a picture of her cat since he seems to really love animals

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i just sent him a picture of my neighbor’s dog, sergeant

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now we wait

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he mad

joeythemasteroftimeandspace:

equisollux:

zombiecthulu:

basedkuroko:

my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE

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the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone

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I bet he’s on Tumblr

I am

lol… wow

(Source: lolicutie)

sp1rit:

lullabysounds:

it’s so amusing how offended people get when you’re comfortable with yourself. it’s been so great over the past few months watching people love themselves more. i love selfies and nudes and i love when girls call themselves queens and act like they’re the hottest thing on the planet and if anyone calls you self centered or pretentious blow them the biggest kiss and carry on.

i needed this

fiftyshadesofstyles:

i have never laughed so hard in my life

so-personal:

everything personal♡

(Source: rollerbob)

runs-on-reindeer:

When my sister was in the Marines some little shit told her to make him a sandwich so she went to his boss and they used money from the asshole’s next paycheck to order subs for the entire squadron

(Source: runs-on-ramen)

toastdurr:

fairyspork:

floptart:

ass2007:

im so glad my boyfriends penis is 2 bread lengths long (:

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Who the fuck measures dick size in bread